


Forever is Relative

by XanderB



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Bottom Eren Yeager, Divorce, Fluff and Angst, Gay Sex, Happy Ending, Infidelity, Language, M/M, More tags to be added, Not your usual soulmate au, Past Levi/Erwin Smith, Romance, Smut, Soulmates, Top Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), but nothing too serious, ereri, little bit of religious talk, mentions of other relationships, possibly mild violence, riren - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-16
Updated: 2016-11-16
Packaged: 2018-06-08 20:44:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6872692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XanderB/pseuds/XanderB
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone has a soulmate, but not everyone gets to meet and live happily ever after with that soulmate. People wait years for the name to appear on their skin and longer searching for the person that name belongs to. The lucky ones get their names as children and find their mates during adolescence or young adulthood, and the really lucky ones get that happily ever after. Levi always thought he was one of those lucky ones...</p><p>What happens when the name on your skin is a lie? Does God really make mistakes like that?</p><p>*Disclaimer: I don't own Shingeki no Kyojin, nor any lyrics that may be referenced in the fic. I also make no money off of writing this, though it is fun.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: The Worst Thing That Could Happen

**Author's Note:**

> So... I said this would be up ages ago, but you know things happened and I didn't want to fall behind on my other fic. But here it is, a new story, not quite the cliche soulmate fic you are used to, not that there is anything wrong with cliche. I've read a number of well-written soulmate aus. I don't think this one is going to be too long, maybe like five parts altogether if I can pack it in. 
> 
> This fic was heavily influenced by several Tove Lo songs that I am recently obsessed with.
> 
> Hope you all enjoy it. Comments and kudos are welcome.
> 
> Enjoy!

"Fuck!" It was louder than he had meant for it to be, but the chill of liquid sliding down the back of his shirt and rolling in frigid rivulets between his shoulder blades was such a shock that he'd been unable to control the volume of his voice when the expletive had flown from his mouth. He jerked up from the stool he'd been sitting on for the passed hour and set a nasty glare on the kid that was responsible for his now wet shirt, having spilled the dregs of watery liquor and ice cubes from his glass down Levi's back.

"Sh-Shit! I'm so so sorry," the young man sputtered, brilliant green eyes wide as if he was just as shocked as Levi with what had transpired. He was cute for a brat, all pretty eyes and tousled chocolate hair, long limbs and caramel skin and he _did_ look sorry. And the dark-haired, scowling man was _just_ intoxicated enough to be swayed by the youth's teary eyed apology that the anger dissipated and the disgusted curl of pale lips faded right along with it.

Levi sighed and ran one alabaster hand through the long fringe of his undercut, "Whatever brat, my next one's on you."

The kid looked surprised a moment or two before relief washed over his expressive face, his pretty eyes lit up and Levi couldn't help but notice the thick, long cinnamon lashes that were simply gorgeous framing the honeyed green of his irises; it wouldn't be hard to get lost in a pair of eyes like that. It was like looking into the ocean at sunset. Levi had become so accustomed to looking into eyes like the sky on summer days that the oceanic depths he was now staring into were incredibly captivating; he almost jumped when the kid spoke again. He'd looked for too long.

"Uh, um, sure, it's the least I can do," the brunette agreed and Levi didn't realize the mistake he had made until the young man pulled out the stool right next to him and straddled it. He flagged down the bartender to order a refill for the both of them before Levi found those eyes on him once again; he had the brat's rapt attention. He grimaced inwardly, realizing the inadvertent invitation he'd given the kid. 

He really, _really_ hadn't been looking for company, hence why he had settled for having drinks at the quiet little hole in the wall pub they were currently the only two patrons of aside from an old man in the far corner who was alternating between sexually harassing the only server and swearing in what Levi thought might be Finnish at the game of soccer playing on the television overhead. On any other night, Levi would not have been caught dead in such a seedy, dirty little place, but it wasn't any other night and he'd just wanted to drown himself in rum regardless of the questionable state of the establishment. It was the kind of night where Levi didn't even care about the fingerprints on his glass.

He stifled the urge to sigh again and tried vainly to give 'Ocean Eyes' a _polite_ dismissive look, remaining stoically silent in the hopes that the youth would get the hint. The kid didn't even so much as flinch in the face of the older man's silent dismissal.

"I really am sorry. I'm not usually so careless. I'm just really off tonight," he excused, his body turned slightly in Levi's direction, a sheepish smile quirking on rosy, full lips. Levi did sigh then and leaned his chin on his right palm, nursing his fresh drink and staring at the brunette with a bored expression. 

"It's a shitty night," Levi said after an extremely long moment, realizing belatedly that the kid had actually been waiting for a response.

"No doubt," 'Ocean Eyes' paused to take a sip of his own rather vibrant coloured drink before continuing, "I just met my supposed soulmate today." 

Levi couldn't even hide the grimace that appeared on his face at the mention of soulmates. He scratched at the already raw area where the name of his own soulmate was etched elegantly onto the pale skin of the forearm he was currently using to prop his head up. He scoffed under his breath as his most recent and most unpleasant memories of the man that belonged to the name swam to the surface of his mind. He'd been trying to forget, hence the hour he'd already spent at this shitty bar attempting to get shitfaced drunk. _Of course_ this fucking brat would wreck his shirt _**and**_ force him to relive what had been the shittiest homecoming in his entire life which was really saying something since there had been a number of years in which Levi didn't even have a home to come home to. 

The attractive brunette must have taken his scoff as encouragement because he didn't bother to wait for Levi to respond before he continued talking, his gaze falling onto the still near full glass of liquor and juice that he was twisting between long, slim, tanned fingers that looked surprisingly soft and well-groomed considering the kid looked like he was just barely pushing twenty and Levi was most definitely _**not**_ disappointed that those pretty eyes were no longer locked onto him, nope, not at all and if anyone asked, he'd deny it until the moon fell out of the God damned sky. He had a soulmate already after all.

"Yeah, I know. That doesn't sound so shitty right, and maybe it wouldn't be for anyone else. But it's got to be a mistake. I mean, I thought God or Fate or something was supposed to be keeping track of this kinda thing, but whoever is, definitely dropped the ball on mine. My soulmate, "Mikasa"," he paused to gesture at the name plastered in blocky characters across the back of his left hand before he shook his head and gave Levi a sidelong glance as if to make sure the older man was still listening before he continued, "Well, she's beautiful and smart, and seems totally perfect in every way, except for one vital thing; she's not a man. I mean, how the hell could Fate or God or whatever fuck that up? Why in the world would they give a gay man a female soulmate? And what's worse, I'm fairly certain that a guy I work with has her name too. Like what the actual fuck is up with that? I feel like I'm the butt of some cosmic joke."

Levi almost laughed. _Almost..._ Instead, a dark smirk curled on his lips, "Fate's a cruel bitch with a shitty sense of humour and God, well, he's a sadistic little prick with an ant farm and a magnifying glass. We get the _honour_ of playing the part of the ants."

The kid chuckled cynically and took a heartier gulp of his drink before he set it back down on the bar and looked to Levi once more, turning his upper body more towards the older male. "I just don't get it. Why give me one at all if it's gonna be like this? What kind of happily ever after could we possibly have when we are fundamentally incompatible?"

Levi shrugged one shoulder, finishing off his drink and motioning for another as he replied, "Same reason they'd give me one that claimed happily ever after in the form of fifteen years of what I thought was a perfectly happy marriage only to come home early as a surprise from a business trip to find him fucking his secretary on our dining room table this morning."

"No way... That's unheard of..." It was hardly more than a breath as it passed the kid's lips and his face was a mix of incredulous and entirely forlorn, saddened by a stranger's shitty story. It was so genuine that Levi's own face twitched; he almost wanted to cry. Luckily, all that managed to surface was a deep frown. When he'd caught Erwin with the little blonde mushroom head he called his secretary, the only thing Levi had been able to do was turn away, thinking that he was nothing like the bright-eyed, pretty boy; the only thing similar between the two of them was that they were both short.

Later when Levi had been making his way from the hotel he'd booked himself in search of a bar to drown himself in, he'd laughed at the sad irony of it all. Was there such a thing as temporary soulmates? Was his time with Erwin simply up? He'd tried looking up similar situations online, but had come up with far too few results; it had left him feeling empty and nauseous. There was only one paper he'd managed to find by some quack scientist about the possibility of what she called 'Soulmate Exchange'. It was a theory and one that was looked upon poorly by others in her field. Nonetheless, Levi had programmed the woman's number into his phone, not quite ready to set an appointment with her, but desperate enough to want the number just in case. His life was falling apart again.

He'd never expected it, but thinking back on it, he should have. He'd felt like an idiot, especially listening to the tall blonde's wrecked voice on his voicemail, begging him to come home, and Levi refused to believe it was the first time it had happened. Erwin had always been extremely charming and could be manipulative in the best and worst of ways. Levi could not bring himself to believe that his soulmate had never meant for it to happen; the only truth in that was that Erwin had never meant to get caught with the little blonde cupcake. 

Levi shook his head and let out another soft, dark chuckle before he stood up and finished his drink quickly enough that the excess chill left the back of his head throbbing a moment or two, "I'm leaving," he stated, wavering a bit on his feet, unsteady after _how_ many drinks; he couldn't remember. He turned to do as he'd said, trying to ignore the bitter taste that lingered on the back of his tongue at the thought of the cold hotel bed that was probably filthy and was certainly unfamiliar to the one he was used to at the home he'd shared with Erwin. He couldn't go back though, not to Erwin and not to their bed that Levi suspected was already stained with the memory of someone else.

A warm grip on his left shoulder stilled his movements and he turned his head just enough to see the pretty tanned fingers curled tightly on his shoulder. "W-Wait!" The tone of the brunette's voice was desperate and his hand tugged at the shorter man's shoulder a bit to get him to turn toward those gorgeous mossy eyes, only continuing once their gazes had met and held a minute, "Let me give you my number. You... You don't have to call, but I can't just let you leave without at least giving it to you. You know, so you have someone who gets it to talk to... If you ever want to." The offer was entirely sincere, not quite unexpected, but still surprising to the dark-haired man and before he could stop himself, he had handed the kid his phone, allowing the younger male to enter the offered information. His hand left Levi's shoulder and the older refused to miss the warmth of it even as the feel of those slim digits lingered long after he'd left the kid in the bar.

Back in the dark quiet of his hotel room, curled into the bed that wasn't his, biting his lip in indecision, he opened the lock screen on his phone, squinting as he scrolled through the contacts list in search of an unfamiliar name. Warmth spread through him unbidden when he found it. The tall, cute kid with the soft messy chocolate hair and the beautiful ocean eyes that Levi would gladly drown in was named Eren Jaeger.

Levi fell asleep that night with his phone fisted tightly in his hand and an unfamiliar warmth in his chest. Maybe Fate wasn't completely cruel after all.

TBC...


	2. One: We're Not forever; You're Not the One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second meeting... Smut too...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okie dokie, so here we go folks. Thanks for the comments and kudos so far. I hope you all enjoy this latest installment. I'll try to have another out this weekend. 
> 
> If anyone is interested, the song that had a large influence on this particular chapter is called "Timebomb" by Tove Lo. 
> 
> Anyhow, there is some smut below and a tad bit of angst with a smattering of fluff I guess.
> 
> Enjoy!

“Please Levi, just come home. We can talk about this. It was a mistake. I was lonely and I missed you. If you come home, I'm sure we can get passed this.” Levi rolled his eyes as he looked at the watch on the underside of his wrist, his phone tucked between his ear and his shoulder uncomfortably as he held a grocery basket in his other hand. Erwin was still talking, pleading with him to come back to the house they shared. It'd been three days already and every night that Levi had listened to the multitude of messages that had reiterated everything the tall blonde was saying again just then, he'd only thought to call Eren. 

He'd abstained, of course. The kid was so much younger than him and really they didn't know each other, had only met that one time in that shitty little bar under the worst possible circumstances that Levi could imagine and it had somehow led to the brat's number being programmed in the older man's phone. It was a temptation Levi refused to give in to, no matter how much he might have liked to hear Eren's voice, honest and sincere, no ulterior motives underlying his words and no matter how much he'd like to see those beautiful eyes again. He could just delete the number; he should. But he didn't. And if he looked at those seven digits for the last three nights before he went to sleep, it wasn't because he wanted to press that call button.

Levi tossed a container of Lysol wipes into his basket and bent down to peruse the selection of rubber gloves the grocery store had to offer as he half-listened to his soulmate's begging voice. Erwin was calling Levi 'Baby' and had begun to attempt bribery in order to get the short, dark-haired thirty-five year old to return to their home.

Levi shook his head at the mention of couples counselling followed by promises of flowers and jewellery and more time together. Erwin was offering to cut hours at the office to spend them with Levi. He sighed and picked out a pair of standard, canary yellow rubber gloves and placed them in his basket, irritated by Erwin's coaxing tone. That was another thing that Levi had always found infuriating, but never addressed when he'd been with his soulmate and after hearing Eren's words, 'fundamentally incompatible' seemed to fit he and Erwin's partnership as well.

The tall blonde man was seven years older than Levi and over a foot taller and though Levi was not particularly feminine in any sense of the word, his smaller stature and younger age had somehow translated in Erwin's mind as the younger man was the weaker in their relationship. It had somehow become an unwritten rule that Levi took on the 'woman's' role in their relationship; cooking, cleaning, and spreading his legs, even though Erwin was just as capable. Levi had stopped complaining about that particular aspect of their relationship early on because the blonde had refused to be swayed on the point and had somehow or another convinced Levi that he was being cherished instead of emasculated, unequal in a relationship that should not be defined and weighed in such a manner.

“Erwin stop. Enough... It's enough,” he finally spoke, interrupting the desperate ultimatums and promises coming from the other man. 

“So you'll come home then?”

“Erwin, um sir, I'm sorry to interrupt, but here are the files you requested...” Another familiar voice, muffled, but clear enough for Levi to make out, interrupted what he had been about to say. He had considered for just a moment actually meeting with Erwin, but when he heard that voice, the rage and hurt from his soulmate's betrayal surfaced anew.

“You're at the office...” Levi's voice was quiet and he found himself standing still just between where the aisle he'd been perusing ended and where the line at the cash register began. “You didn't even get rid of _him_ ,” it was a bitter statement and Levi's hand lost feeling from how hard he was gripping the handle of his shopping basket.

“Of course not. Levi, you know he's the best secretary I've ever had and I can't afford to look for someone new right now. Plus, if I fired him over what happened, it would be cause for a lawsuit,” Erwin's responding words only made the iciness in Levi's gut flare and spread through him until his whole body was numb.

“Hah, yes, he must be very _talented_ , I'm sure. Speaking of lawyers, expect to be hearing from mine soon. Goodbye Erwin,” he hung up before the other male had a chance to argue and set his phone to silent mode, pocketing the device. He closed his eyes and focused on breathing for a moment before he took a step towards the check out line he'd been loitering near the end of.

Just as he was about to step up to the cash conveyor, a tall, tanned guy cut in front of him without even a glance back and in his current mood, Levi couldn't even speak his indignation right away, blinking incredulously. What the actual fuck?

“Hey,” he finally found his voice, irritation evident in his tone. The guy turned around at the sound and the rest of Levi's angry words died on his tongue. There were those gorgeous eyes blinking at him in shocked recognition and the agitation he'd been drowning in seeped out of the shorter man. 

“Hey, it's you... Oh shit, I'm sorry, did I cut in front of you? I was in such a rush, um,” Eren had that same sincere look of apology he'd had the night he'd first spilled his drink on Levi and the dark-haired man couldn't help but forgive the kid. He couldn't decide if Eren was the most annoying individual he'd ever met or the best thing that could have happened after the call he'd just shared with his decidedly soon to be ex-husband. 

“It's fine brat. I wasn't in a rush or anything anyway,” he replied dismissively, unable to stop himself from looking the kid up and down. Eren seemed even more attractive than he had the other evening, maybe because the lighting was better or maybe because his smile was lifting Levi's mood so easily and he could almost forget that he would be returning to his shitty hotel room to clean and call his lawyer. Maybe it was the fact that he had made up his mind to leave Erwin and there was no reason he couldn't appreciate the beauty that was the lithe brunette. And Eren _was_ beautiful; there was no question in that.

Eren graced him with a dazzling smile, those exquisite eyes glimmering as though he was honestly pleased to be in Levi's company again even though the raven had not given him any real reason to want to spend any time with him at all. “I was just thinking about you and how I didn't get your name the other night and I wouldn't ever get it if you decided never to call me. Now, here you are,” the younger said as they moved along the line. Levi absently placed his items on the belt behind Eren's magazine and candy bars, unable to keep the small smile from twitching on his own lips.

“It must be fate,” he deadpanned, watching as Eren paid for his things without taking his eyes off of Levi, chuckling in response to the shorter man's words.

“Must be. So... You going to tell me now or will I really have to wait for that call?” 

Levi scoffed softly, reaching to pay the cashier for his own purchases before taking his bag. “Give me one good reason I should tell you my name.”

Eren looked as if he might be pouting as they walked side by side out of the grocer's to the street and the sudden downpour of rain. Levi frowned as he stood beneath the awning. He'd walked from his hotel and hadn't thought to purchase an umbrella along the way; it hadn't been raining when he left. Eren paused next to him, realization dawning in the spiraling seas of his eyes. 

“Well, mostly so I know who I'm about to offer a ride home to,” he said with a cheeky grin, bumping his hip against Levi lightly. Clever brat.

Levi furrowed his brow and sighed dramatically before answering, “Levi.”

“Levi... I like that... I'm Eren,” the younger brunette introduced and Levi tried not to consider why Eren saying his name made him feel warm inside, even as the already red and irritated name on his forearm began to itch and throb slightly. He ignored it, giving Eren a sidelong glance and a half-smirk. 

“I know,” Levi said, not even bothered when he shook the kid's offered hand, ignoring the blocky letters scrawled over its back; they were meaningless anyway, weren't they?

“How?” Eren questioned, looking genuinely confused as he released Levi's pale hand before turning to lead the way through the drizzling rain to his car. It wasn't anything special, just a little four-door, used, but in good condition with a surprisingly clean and well-kept interior that somehow seemed so suitable for the bright-eyed young man. Levi almost wanted to laugh. For all that Eren looked like a free spirit, his appearance was something more like an organized mess as if each tousled strand on his head was purposely placed.

“I thought about calling you,” the raven replied by way of explanation after a second, smiling when Eren's confusion only grew. The brunette unlocked the doors and they both got into the vehicle before understanding dawned on Eren. Levi knew his name because he'd looked up his number in his phone when he'd been thinking of calling the younger man.

“Oh...” was all the youth managed to get out, a dark and rather attractive blush staining subtly tanned cheeks as he started the car, putting on his seat belt and waiting for Levi to do the same before pulling away from the parking spot.

There was silence between them for several long minutes, but it wasn't uncomfortable and though Levi should probably tell Eren that he was going in the wrong direction, he simply didn't, perfectly content to let the kid just drive for the moment. It didn't matter anyway. For some reason, Levi felt more at home in Eren's clean, little, used car than he possibly could in the hotel room he was currently calling home and definitely more at ease than he would have been in the house he'd been sharing with his soulmate less than a week ago. And wasn't that something?

“So... What... Um, what happened with your soulmate?” Eren's voice was quiet over the volume of the radio playing within the small car, his tanned fingers gripping the steering wheel tightly as if he was nervous. What did he have to be nervous about? It wasn't like it was a rude question or an illegitimate one for that matter considering what they had discussed during their first meeting in that shitty little hole in the wall bar. 

“I'm divorcing him. Lying isn't something I can forgive easily, especially given these circumstances,” Levi answered without falter, side-eyeing Eren who was nodding vaguely in understanding, a soft frown on his mouth.

“Is that really alright though? I've never heard of soulmates separating unless you know, one of them dies.”

“Hmph, don't care. Guess we'll be the first then. There's a doctor who seems to believe it can happen, that maybe people like you and I have been mistakenly bonded somehow.”

“Really?” Eren was looking at him with wide eyes, stopped at a red light a few blocks from the grocery store they'd left minutes before and now several blocks from Levi's hotel. Levi didn't ask where Eren was taking him though and Eren didn't ask for any directions. 

“Yes. I'm thinking of contacting her once I've served Erwin with the papers,” he said idly as Eren began driving once more, pretty eyes back on the wet road before them.

“Hm, maybe I should too. At least maybe she has some answers that would make this whole thing make some sense, 'cause I'm fresh out of ideas.”

“My thoughts exactly.”

They were silent again for a time and Levi let his mind wander. He thought about Erwin, about how he'd been pretending to be happy with what they had for years, blindly accepting because they were soulmates. They were _supposed_ to be happy together. They had been once, when they'd first met. Erwin had changed Levi's life, given him a home and helped him start his own advertising agency once he'd finished university, had married him and offered him promises of forever. Now... Well, now, Levi understood that the concept of forever was relative. Maybe forever to his soulmate had meant just until he'd come across something else, _someone_ else that wasn't as difficult to get along with, who wasn't often cold and moody, and didn't save his smile for only rainy days and apparently pretty-eyed brats who spilled their drinks on strangers in dingy bars. And forever to Levi had always meant eternity.

His thoughts shifted from Erwin to Eren and he watched the younger man through his peripheral vision. Eren was nothing like Erwin, not only in appearance, but in every facet of his being. The brunette seemed genuine in every word he spoke and every action he took, led by his emotions, and his eyes were nothing but honest. He seemed a little naive, maybe a little dense, but it was endearing in a way that Levi was unused to. Eren seemed spontaneous, fearless and carefree, everything that Erwin was not and everything that Levi had never thought he'd be attracted to. Yet here they were and Levi couldn't think of anywhere he would rather be or anyone he would rather be with at that moment. It was a frightening, but exciting revelation. 

“Levi?” 

The raven blinked when Eren called his name and he realized they were no longer in motion. The kid had the keys in his hand, no longer in the ignition, but gripped in one fist, resting in his lap. He wasn't looking at Levi, expressive forest eyes on his hands fidgeting nervously. Levi's gaze shifted from Eren to the small two story townhouse they were parked in front of through the rivulets of rain on the windshield. It looked warm and Levi was struck by the observation. 

The house, like the car, and the boy himself felt like home, warm, inviting and somehow right in a sense that Levi had never before experienced, even with the man that he was supposedly destined to be with. 

“What's the matter brat?” he answered after a second in which he dragged his eyes back to Eren with deliberate slowness, one delicate brow raised.

“I um... Well, I know we just met and you only just decided on divorce, and maybe it's dumb or presumptuous of me, but you said you'd wanted to call me and I... I prayed every night since we met at the bar for that call. I know we aren't... We can't be soulmates, but--”

“Spit it out Jaeger,” Levi interrupted the kid's quiet rambling. Eren sucked in a breath, gaze flickering to Levi for a second before shifting away shyly again.

“Do you want to come in?”

Levi could hear the soft pattering of the rain against the windows in the moments of silence that settled between them after Eren's offer. Levi held no illusions about what the offer entailed and it was nothing so innocent as having a warm cup of tea to get rid of the weather's chill if Eren's nervousness and heated flush were any indication. He came to the abrupt realization that he hadn't been the only one blindsided by such ferocious attraction to someone who's name did not mark his skin, could not possibly give him the forever that was meant to be between destined pairs. Yet Levi couldn't think of a more perfect reason to accept.

Eren wasn't forever; he wasn't _the one_. And neither was Levi his. They weren't destined. And it was perfect.

He made his mind up then and there to let it happen, to just go with it, content to get lost and drown in the ocean that was Eren Jaeger, as all-consuming and beautiful, vast and chaotic as he was with his honest eyes and pretty hands, messy hair and sinuous body.

“Are you sure Eren?” he only asked because he didn't think his already fragile pride could take another blow if the kid suddenly decided to change his mind and rejected him when Levi had taken a chance.

“Yes.”

\----*****----

Levi didn't know what came over him once the door to Eren's home closed behind them, but before they'd even toed off their rain slicked shoes, he'd had the kid pressed back against the door. His hands were on Eren's hips, his waist, his sides, chest, neck, jaw, yanking him down until he could crush their mouths together and he was swallowing every desperate sound that Eren made. And Eren's hands were on him too, his shoulders and in his hair, along the nape of his neck and between his shoulder blades; those soft, pretty fingers leaving fire in their wake. They were both panting when they broke apart long enough to actually remove their shoes and before either of them thought better of it, their shirts had followed. 

Touching Eren was like finally becoming warm after being frozen for a lifetime. The kid lit a fire in Levi he'd been stifling for so long, he'd forgotten he even had it. Eren let him have control, opened his mouth and his body to him naturally, tongue and teeth and hands coaxing and encouraging, begging Levi for more. He wanted to be taken, was willing and wanting. He wanted to share their heat and feel together, to give and receive anything Levi was willing to part with, any little bit the short raven would allow him to keep. It was all there in the half-lidded honeyed ocean depths, thick lashes a heavy veil over the hazy orbs that drew Levi in.

“Where's your bedroom?” Levi asked breathily, husky against bowed lips that were slick and red from the heated kisses they'd already shared.

Eren didn't answer verbally, but slipped his marked left hand down to Levi's right and weaved their contrasting fingers with one another, silently leading the way. Up the stairs and down the hall to the left, into a surprisingly large and well lit room, curtains open to let in the dim light of the clouded sky and the quiet symphony of the raindrops falling on the window panes. The bed was big and draped with a deep grey-blue duvet, matching pillow cases and darker sheets hidden beneath. There were pictures on the walls, prints that were unique, colourful and vibrant in their plain black frames. Everything about the room seemed right, like Levi belonged there just as much as the brunette that owned it. It was strangely comforting. Somehow they'd lost their pants along the way. 

Levi should probably be more hesitant in continuing, should feel some regret or fear considering what he was doing with a man that was not his husband, nor his soulmate and yet there was nothing. He forgot what Erwin's face looked like when looking in Eren's eyes, forgot what the blonde's voice sounded like when listening to Eren's begging whines and gasping moans, and couldn't remember what Erwin's skin had felt like when he slid his own against the silky caramel of the young man writhing beneath him on the bedding. Eren was nothing like Erwin; he was so much better. The brunette was intoxicating, dangerously alluring, beautiful and addictive and Levi was drowning. 

It burned inside him, his desire for the youth twisting in his belly and spreading through his nerves in hot waves of passion. He'd never wanted anything so badly as he found himself wanting Eren. 

He pulled away from Eren's lips again, not even recalling when he'd placed them there in the first place and missing them as soon at they separated. He licked his own and looked down at Eren, running one pale hand through the ruffled chocolate locks that were every bit as soft as he'd imagined, spider-web fine and silky between his fingertips as he brushed them back from sweat dampened flesh. Eren met his gaze, his own fingers caressing along the base of Levi's neck, over his collar and along his shoulders, squeezing ever so lightly at the corded muscle beneath alabaster flesh.

“Levi?”

“Hm?”

“Um, if you're having second thoughts, we don't--”

“Shh, just let me look at you for a minute.”

Look he did, silver-blue, snow-flecked eyes carefully trailing over the younger man as Levi propped himself up on his palms, taking in every subtle detail, every sloping curve and sharp protrusion of bone, every rouged bit of tanned flesh from teeth, rough touches and aroused blushes, every quiver of long cinnamon lashes over the gold dappled hurricane of oceans beneath, every rivulet of perspiration that traveled deliciously tempting down lithe contours of flesh, and every shudder that quaked anticipation through the younger. 

“You're beautiful Eren.”

The kid looked away, shy, embarrassed by the worshipping stare and sincere compliment from the older male. He was biting his bottom lip and his hips rolled up to meet the slow downward press of Levi's as he unconsciously rut against him. The rush the control brought the raven was powerful, potent and primal, awakening parts of Levi that had been subjugated and caged for too long. 

He found himself searching the drawer of the nightstand next to the bed and finding exactly what he'd been expecting, drawing the mostly full bottle of lubricant from within, caught between heady possession and ingrained safety procedures upon finding no condoms to accompany the bottle of gel. The idea of claiming Eren with no barriers between them made his already painfully hard cock throb, effectively overlapping and dulling the burning of the name on his forearm that had steadily grown worse with every thought and every moment he spent on Eren. 

“No condoms,” Levi said, voice remaining calm and unbroken by sheer force of will as Levi tried to gain the kid's attention. He held the lube up as if to prove his observation true. 

“Yeah... Um... I've never needed them before. I always thought it'd be my soulmate.” The words were soft, husky and rough with arousal and a low undertone of melancholy that Levi wanted desperately to erase from the tone and from Eren entirely. This beautiful, pure creature deserved the forever he had been promised when that name had stained his flesh, yet he and Eren both knew that it was impossible. It was just as impossible for Eren as it was for Levi and they mourned the loss together in silence, only the sounds of their mingling breaths overlaying the patter of precipitation that was growing to a thundering roar against the glass. 

The implication of Eren's words sunk in belatedly and Levi realized what the youth had really meant. The lubricant belonged only to Eren and there had been no need for condoms because Eren had no partners, had never planned to take any, but the one he was destined for and Levi should feel guilty for taking that honour, but he couldn't feel anything, but elation and intense arousal for the preciousness of what Eren was offering him. Levi didn't know what he had done to deserve this, whether this was God or Fate's doing or just the product of circumstances and coincidental meetings where the stirrings of mutual attraction had taken root in spite of the names that promised them happiness with another, that gave false hope for the eternity they would both be denied in the end. 

“Eren... Are you sure you want--”

“Stop asking. The answer hasn't changed. Mikasa isn't mine, no matter what the brand on my skin may claim and even if it hurts and burns in retaliation for the ignorance of its presence, I don't care. She's not what I want.”

The meaning behind those words was too much for Levi. Eren didn't _want_ Mikasa, was willing to reject what some higher powers had dictated was his destiny and instead given what should have been hers to another. He _wanted_ Levi. Genuinely, sincerely, unwaveringly wanted the older man who was supposed to belong to someone else, someone that had taken him for granted, had betrayed him and lied to him and Eren wanted him not forever, not as a wife or a happily ever after, but just for right now because it was their choice and they had the right to decide who to be with, didn't they? What was a name anyway? 

There were no more questions, no more assurances after that. Levi kissed Eren again, shared his breath and drank his whimpers as he pressed lube-slicked fingers to the entrance of the brunette's body, careful between the press of their hips, gentle as he prepared the tightness to accommodate something more.

Eren's legs shifted, restless, thighs smooth and so soft against Levi's sides as the younger man spread them and pressed them against him with urgent encouragement. Levi made low sounds of appreciation, taking his time in stretching the virgin channel and mapping out the smoothness within until he found the spongy little bundle that had Eren arching off the mattress and crying out sharply, shivering violently in the aftermath and pleading for more. 

It was minutes that felt like hours later that Levi slid his fingers from the brunette's body and instead groped the underside of one golden caramel thigh, pressing it upwards as his hips thrust with the motion, swiftly burying his thick, already slippery cock into that clenching heat. He had to close his eyes and lay his head on Eren's shoulder to just breathe a moment so he didn't lose himself, listening to the roaring of blood in his own ears and the loud staccato heartbeat of the boy beneath him. The brunette let out shuddering sobs as Levi rocked in and out of him with torturous slowness, ignoring the bite of blunted nails in his back and the sharp sting of teeth on his shoulder, the subtle hugging of those supple thighs against his sides as heels dug into his lower back insistently, pleading without words for more. Faster, harder, deeper, anything, everything, all of it and more, please, please, please. 

Levi did not pick up his pace, did not give in to Eren's begging motions until he felt the kid jerk against him, breaths on the cusp of hyperventilation as he struggled to breathe at all through the desperate sobbing that accompanied the need for release. The pale man sped his thrusts, pleased when Eren's hips met his in an offset pace that only seemed to make the both of them more desperate and Levi moved faster and harder, fingers digging intently into flesh, bruising, grip slipping with the salty slickness of sweat and he was making sounds too, low, panting grunts and even lower, guttural moans when the boy beneath him clenched tighter around his length and he could feel the slippery rub of Eren's hardness against his abdomen, no space between them for him to take the boy in hand, but it didn't matter. 

He hissed and bit into Eren's shoulder when the younger male hit his climax, painfully tight and rippling around Levi's cock, forcing him over the edge himself and milking him dry, filling the heaving boy with pearly strands of searing release, coating his inner walls and placing a claim he'd never truly have over the other male. Eren's nails raked over his shoulder blades and he bucked against Levi lazily as they rode out their climaxes bathed in the dim light of the rainy afternoon sky. And they were both smiling stupidly wide when they curled up together in that bed that felt like it had always belonged to the both of them and slept, feeling more complete than either of them ever had before. Levi couldn't even be bothered to clean them up. There would be time for that later.

TBC...


	3. Two: Take Out the Bullets From My Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pillow talk and altercations...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okie dokie! Thanks to everyone who's shown an interest in this fic and given comments and kudos. You're awesome. 
> 
> Here is the third installment. I hope you all enjoy it. I am having a surprisingly enjoyable time writing this, considering the content. So much angst...
> 
> Songs that were inspiration for this chapter and the next are: "Crave" and "Out of Mind" by Tove Lo.
> 
> Anyways, more comments and kudos are always welcome and appreciated.
> 
> Enjoy!

Eren's head was resting halfway on his shoulder and chest comfortably, the soft strands of chocolate tickling under Levi's chin and along his throat as they lay spooned together. Levi couldn't remember the last time he had played the role of 'big spoon' and it was somehow satisfying in a way he hadn't quite considered, only realizing he'd been craving it now that he had the younger man pressed in tightly against his side. It was getting dark out, the rain finally petering out, leaving everything damp and dewy outside the windows, but it was warm in the bed and Levi should probably leave, but he wasn't in any rush. Eren wasn't pushing him to go either.

The brunette was breathing softly, the delicate fingertips of his marked hand tracing the red and irritated name scrawled along Levi's right forearm gently, the name on the back of his own hand just as raw and sensitive. The careful caress of those pretty tanned fingers was bittersweet, painful against the oversensitive flesh where Erwin's name was inked, but soothing at the same time somehow, as if the touch was abating the itch, erasing the ache over time. 

It was strange. The itch and irritation had begun just after Levi had caught Erwin with his secretary, the moment his betrayal had sunk in and Levi had begun rejecting him as his soulmate and by the inflammation that was becoming more prominent on the back of Eren's hand, surrounding his own marked name, it was obvious that it was some sort of reaction to their denial of their destined partners. The sting of it was both worse and better while he was with the younger man.

Eren sighed against him and rubbed his cheek against the naked skin his face rested against and Levi looked down at him in question.

“Erwin... What's he like?” Levi blinked, not quite expecting the question, but not entirely surprised that Eren had asked. The kid was curious and seemed to speak whatever came into his head without thinking it through clearly beforehand. Levi found himself smiling just a little as he considered that that trait should not be nearly as endearing as it was. 

“Why do you want to know?” he answered the brunette's question with one of his own, curious as to Eren's motivations for inquiring in the first place.

“Just... I want to know what kind of man would take you for granted,” the answer was quiet, a little muffled against Levi's skin, the whisper of words making goosebumps rise over his flesh in response and Levi grasped Eren's marked hand with his own, curling his fingers around the tanned digits and rubbing his thumb over the dark stained characters of Eren's soulmate's name as he rested their entwined hands on his chest next to the brunette's face. 

“Heh... He's self-assured, confident, and manipulative. He can be sweet when it suits him. It never really bothered me before. I just assumed, like everyone else that I had nothing to complain about since he was my destined mate, but seeing it now, I should have known this would happen. It was easy for him to convince me to come with him when he found me all those years ago. I was so desperate and it was so comforting to know my soulmate had come for me that I went willingly. I wanted that happily ever after; who wouldn't,” he scoffed softly before he continued, “He's successful and he helped me be successful too. But he wanted a wife, someone to just take care of his needs and I did for a long time, probably still would be if I hadn't caught him with his secretary. I'd still be living in ignorant misery. I don't know what I'll do now. It's been so long since I've been on my own like this. I can't really say I regret it, all the years I spent with him, but I'm glad it's ending, if that makes sense.”

Eren nodded against him, fingers weaving between Levi's with striking contrast and squeezing slightly. “Um, was he... Have you ever done this with someone other than him before?”

“You mean had sex with someone before him,” Levi clarified, his smile quirking one corner of pale pink lips, answering once Eren nodded his affirmation, “Sure. I wasn't a virgin when we met. I didn't have a good life back then. I had to do a lot of things I wasn't too proud of and I'd had my mark for so long that I had given up on ever even finding whoever it belonged to. It's not like it mattered. He hadn't been saving himself for me either before he found me. He was always charming and I know he was a bit of a playboy before we met. Guess that should of been my first clue for this future, but I thought we'd both put our pasts behind us once we were together. I believed it, especially after I moved in with him and then he asked me to marry him. It was good then; I was happy enough I guess, grateful; he was like my hero or something. Stupid... I was stupid.”

“No! Don't say that. I... It's not stupid to want happiness, to want something better when things are shitty. I... I know what it's like. I've been on my own a long time. I've been lonely for so long, I almost thought I was cursed. My mark showed up when I was eight. It was the only thing that gave me hope when my mother passed away. I was lost when I lost her. And my dad... He was never the same once she was gone. He just stayed in his room when he was at home and worked relentlessly when he wasn't. He couldn't even look at me after she died. I looked too much like her and it hurt him too much. He disappeared when I was fifteen and he died last year. This house, everything I have came from what he left me. The house, the car, tuition for art school, everything I have now, I owe to him. I resented him for a long time before and after he died, but I think I get it now. After finding out my soulmate isn't right for me, I feel like I've lost something precious. I had dreams of living here, having kids maybe someday and raising them with my soulmate, but it's impossible now. I'm lost again.”

“At least we can be lost together. Who knows, maybe we can help each other find our way. That doctor will probably be able to give us some pointers,” Levi assured, not entirely certain what possessed him to try and comfort the kid. His life had been shitty, as shitty as Levi's had been, filled with pain and disappointment, yet he still smiled. It was amazing that Eren could even bring himself to smile at all, to laugh and keep moving forward in spite of the shit hand he'd been dealt and it made Levi want to be better. He wasn't bright like Eren, taciturn and moody more often than not. He had a hard time trusting people and making deeper connections, used to being hurt and maybe that was why it had been such a blow finding the one person he had decided to put all his faith into, betraying him in the worst of ways. Levi was a rain cloud, he knew that and he didn't know why it was that someone who was like the sunshine as Eren was, would want anything to do with him, but he wasn't about to complain. 

It wasn't like he would get to keep him forever or even just after this one day, but he could appreciate the time Eren was giving him, to not take the beautiful young man for granted. Eren had given something of himself to Levi and Levi didn't know what he had to offer in return, but whatever Eren wanted from this encounter, the dark-haired male was willing to give it to him. He didn't intend to see Eren again. The day they'd shared together had been so perfect that Levi was unwilling to be greedy and want anything more. They wouldn't last anyways; there was no point in pursuing a happily ever after that was never going to come to pass. They were just licking each others wounds and it was perfect in the moment with Eren, but Levi had no illusions as to where this could lead them. They were never meant to be each others' forever. There was no point in getting invested more than he already was, anything more than this one day would likely ruin it anyways. He promised himself once he left Eren, he would delete the number from his phone. The kid didn't need Levi to stifle the sunshine that seemed to be a fundamental facet of the youth. He deserved better than anything Levi could hope to give him.

After all, Levi was hard to love as was obvious by his own soulmate's desire to seek out others to fill voids that Levi was incapable of fulfilling for the tall blonde. If his own soulmate couldn't love him as he was, how could he expect anyone else to? The worst part about it was that Levi knew deep down in some small, hidden place inside him that he could love Eren, already did in some inexplicable and profound way he'd never been able to love his own soulmate and because of that, he knew he couldn't keep him. Eren deserved forever with someone who could laugh with him every day and give him every happiness he'd ever dreamed of. Levi was bitter and cynical and almost twice his age; he couldn't selfishly take Eren for himself only to snuff out the light the kid had inside him with his darkness. He wouldn't.

He was pulled from his self-deprecating thoughts by the feel of damp, warm kisses along his collar and chest, immediate arousal stirring as Eren nipped along his throat and jaw. He groaned lowly and rolled onto the younger man, pinning him to the already rumpled bed. Eren watched him heatedly from beneath those long, dark cinnamon lashes, seducing him without words. He pressed up against Levi enticingly, breathy sounds of encouragement already escaping that sinfully pretty mouth, bowed lips slick and begging for his kiss. 

Levi didn't have the will to refuse and bent his head to seal his own over Eren's. What was one more kiss, one more touch, one more brief flicker of passion when they only had this one day? He couldn't deny Eren and if he were being honest, he couldn't deny himself either. Just one more time before he disappeared from the brunette's life. At the least, he could be a pleasant memory for Eren and for himself.

Eren moaned under him as he pressed him into the covers, grinding his hips against the taller male's, their erections already hard with renewed vigor and anticipation. Tanned arms wound around the back of his neck, forearms settling along his shoulders as nimble fingers slipped up the short, shaved cut of his hair before curling into the longer strands and tugging lightly. Levi hummed his approval and pressed his tongue into the other man's mouth, pleased when Eren's met the questing muscle and grappled with it in the moist cavern of his perfect mouth.

It grew heated fast, much as it had the first time and Eren was panting when he flipped them over, straddling Levi's hips and sitting up in his lap, pert rear rubbing against the raven's already weeping cock, the tip of which brushed between the still slippery cheeks. The brunette's warm, soft palms rested over Levi's toned chest, fingers spreading against the firm muscle beneath pale and lightly scarred flesh. It was too dark to see clearly what they were doing, but it didn't matter. Levi's hands found those slim and slightly rounded hips and squeezed, his hips rocking up into the press of Eren's backside, his own breath escaping him quicker and shorter than it had been before Eren's lips were crashing onto his again with messy passion. Levi didn't mind.

It didn't take any real preparation to enter Eren a second time, slick as he was from the cum still warm inside him and the thorough stretching he'd been given earlier on. They both gasped when Levi slid inside him again, the new angle providing a deeper penetration than the last time and allowing Levi's shaft to brush his prostate with every rocking thrust. Eren cried out hoarsely, breaking their kiss and burying his face against Levi's neck and he bowed forward over the older male. His thighs tensed and relaxed with their slow motions, Levi's hands harsh on his hips, guiding their thrusts, rolling his own upwards gently. It wasn't as fevered and fast as the first time had been, but no less intense.

They panted and moaned against each others' flesh, kissing and lapping up the subtle saltiness of their mingling sweat and Levi knew he'd be tasting it for days after he'd left Eren. He knew he'd be missing the heat and the smooth golden skin pressed so tightly against his own, slippery with perspiration and the soft caress of the lengthy chocolate strands that ghosted over his skin. He'd miss the dark glint of emerald-blue and honeyed hue of those exquisite eyes just as he would miss the pleasured sounds that mirrored his own and made him wish he'd go deaf just so the last thing he'd ever remember hearing was the sound of Eren's husky sobbing moans for more. It would be torture, but at least he would have the memories. Eren would be imprinted onto every part of his skin and Levi would be stained by breathy whimpers and he would burn under the heat of the sun whenever he closed his eyes and recalled how it felt to be so wholly connected with the brilliant light that was Eren. And it was cruel that Fate or God would give him something so precious only to remind him that Eren could never belong to him with the sensation of searing pain that lanced down his right forearm.

He came seconds after Eren, rocking against each other in slow, desperate waves as their climaxes crashed over the both of them, panting and moaning, a mingling of broken names and promises neither could ever keep. 

Levi held Eren afterwards, ignoring the tears the younger cried, pretending he didn't know that the wet heat on his shoulder was a product of the brunette's weeping, not drawing attention to the soft sobs that fell against his chest, knowing what they meant, what they were for. Eren was mourning the forever they could never have. Levi had no words to comfort him anyway, and could only hold him while he cried for the both of them. He only left the bed once Eren had fallen asleep and he was sure the younger man was tucked in, sparing only a moment to kiss sleep-slackened lips and ruffle silky locks before he collected his clothing and left the brunette's home. He didn't even bother retrieving his bag of cleaning supplies from Eren's car before he called a taxi to take him back to the lonely hotel room. The hardest part was watching that house that had felt like home disappear in the rear view mirror, so Levi closed his eyes.

\----*****----

 

“What are you doing here Erwin?”

The tall blonde was sitting on the edge of the hotel bed when Levi arrived, a massive bouquet of white primroses and tiny blue forget-me-nots that were Levi's favourites laid out on the bedspread next to him, wilting slightly from lack of water. It was clear he'd been there for some time. His soulmate's sky blue eyes narrowed on him as he removed his shoes by the door before crossing the room to lean against the wall farthest from the taller man. The room was dim, the only light filtering from the open doorway of the small bathroom.

“Where have you been?” Erwin asked, not bothering to answer Levi's greeting inquiry.

“Shopping.” The response was clipped and terse, pale lips pursed in the dull light.

“For three hours? In which you bought _nothing_ ,” Erwin's brows furrowed in suspicion, gaze pointedly focused on Levi's empty hands.

Levi sighed angrily, “I misplaced my purchases.”

“I don't believe you.”

Levi laughed, the sound hollow and bitter in the silence that followed Erwin's statement. “You don't have to believe me. I don't owe you the truth anymore.”

Erwin ran a hand through his already dishevelled hair and moved to stand, pausing to flip on the bedside lamp and bathing the room in cheap yellowish light. He was about to say something else when his eyes travelled over his soulmate, able to see him in finer detail now that there was more light. His breath caught.

“You... You look... _Well,_ ” he said instead of what he had wanted to say before, obviously surprised and suspicious of Levi's relaxed and refreshed appearance. He looked good and Erwin had seen him look that way before when they'd been happy, when they'd made love and he didn't want to believe what his eyes were telling him. 

“Well, you look like shit,” Levi said bitingly, cocking a hip and crossing his arms over his wrinkled shirt that was uncharacteristically untucked from his slacks.

Erwin's jaw clenched and his gaze darkened to something almost dangerous and he took a step towards the shorter man. Levi met his stare unflinchingly. “Where were you really Levi?”

“It's not your business anymore Erwin,” the defiance in his tone made the tall blonde bristle, jealous possessiveness rising to the forefront of his mind, easily allowing him to neglect the reminder of his own transgressions. 

“I have a right to know here my God damned husband was for the last three hours when he comes in looking like he's been well-fucked,” there was anger in Erwin's voice now, self righteous and entitled, a broad hand cutting through the air to reinforce his words.

Levi scoffed, “Is that so? I thought I made it clear before. I guess you need to hear it again; I'm not your husband any longer Erwin. You made that choice, remember?”

“That's ridiculous Levi. We're **soulmates.** You can't just--”

“I can't what, hm? I can't decide I want something else? I can't decide I don't want a _soulmate_ that can't keep his cock to himself? You can't seriously expect me to let that go? Really Erwin, you should know me better than that by now.”

“I told you, that was a mistake. It will never happen again. I missed you so much. You have _no_ idea how lonely I was without you Levi.”

“Mmhmm, yes, you missed me _so_ damn much that you lost your God-damned mind and just had to fuck your little blonde secretary on _our_ kitchen table. Does that actually make any fucking sense even in your own head?”

“You... You don't know what it's like when you're gone on those trips. You don't see the way those other men look at you. I get sick with worry when you go away alone with them.”

“Christ, that's rich.”

“It's true. You just go about your business like they aren't all salivating. You show up to your office looking like you do. You still look like you did when you were twenty Levi. And you go around oblivious, like you don't know they want you. You bend over in front of them and you let them touch you and you touch them as if it's all so innocent. I've seen it. What am I supposed to think? How am I supposed to feel? Half the time you don't even let _me_ touch you,” Erwin's voice was getting desperate, angry and jealous, shifting blame to his younger partner.

Levi shook his head, “You've got to be fucking kidding me Erwin. Don't you dare try to make this my fault. Are you really trying to play the mid life crisis card, like you're so insecure. I am not the one who did this to us Erwin. That was all you. You've had me for the last fifteen years and you are telling me you just _had_ to fuck someone else because you were _afraid_ of losing me? What the fuck kind of shitty logic is that? You think I don't know what you're trying to do? I _know_ you Erwin; you've never been insecure a day in your God-damned life. You're a manipulative prick and a fabulous liar Erwin. We both know that you didn't just accidentally trip and bury your dick in that kid and we both know it wasn't the first time it happened. Do you think I'm an idiot?”

Erwin's mouth hung open as if he wanted to argue, but had lost whatever words he had intended to say. Levi hadn't spoken to him in such a manner in years, not since they'd first met, before Erwin had taken control of their relationship. It threw the elder male entirely off his game. Where had the shorter man found the courage to speak to him like that? He was a step away from the raven before he caught himself, his hand in Levi's shirt, pulling hard enough to cause the buttons at his shirt collar to pop open and reveal the freshly purpling marks from Eren's teeth.

Erwin's eyes went wide, finally seeing the evidence to prove his suspicions correct. And he stilled in front of Levi, thick fingers still clenched in the fabric of his husband's shirt. “You... You really... Who gave you these?”

Levi clenched his teeth and yanked himself away from Erwin's grip, sidestepping and pulling the collar of his shirt closed with one hand. “I believe we've already established that it's none of your damned business.”

“Who!?” Erwin followed him, spinning the shorter man around to face him roughly, large hands gripping Levi's shoulders in an almost painful hold.

Levi growled low in his throat at the harsh treatment and pushed his husband away from him with both hands. “You wouldn't know him even if I told you. Besides, what do you think you're going to do, hm?” Levi's tone was acidic and bitter with sarcasm.

“I'll kill him.”

The shorter man let out a bark of laughter, shaking his head, “You won't. I wouldn't let you.”

Erwin looked taken aback by the statement; Levi sounded so serious, threatening even. “You... You like him?”

“What if I do? You feeling insecure now?”

“You can't be serious. You're doing this to hurt me.”

Levi smiled maliciously, “You tell yourself whatever you like Erwin, you're the better liar out of the two of us. Maybe you can convince yourself.”

Erwin hissed through clenched teeth and clutched at the sudden sting that shot through the name on his own forearm. Levi caught his widened eyes and smirked darkly, reveling in the sweet wash of vengeance served.

“Hurts, doesn't it?” Erwin could taste the venom in Levi's words and indeed, it hurt.

“Why are you doing this to us Levi?” the blonde's voice was softer than it had been, pained as he rubbed at the burning in his forearm, too blue eyes looking at the dark-haired man searchingly.

“Me? I didn't do this to us Erwin; you did. I think you should leave, in fact, I insist you do,” Levi stepped around the tall, broad form and made his way back to the door, intent on opening it and showing his soon to be ex-husband just where he could go.

“Wait! Levi, please wait... Come home, even if it's just to pack up some of your things. Let me at least help you find somewhere better to stay than this place. I won't force you to stay, just don't waste anymore money on staying here. It must be killing you to stay in such an unclean space. Come back to the house with me just until we find someplace better. You don't even have to talk to me. I can't... I just can't leave you like this.”

Levi's fingers tightened on the knob of the door and he closed his eyes, the burn in his arm flaring up at the sound of sincere pleading in Erwin's voice. There was honesty there and Levi wavered, anger fading into the dull ache of hurt that was far worse. 

“Fine, but this changes nothing between us Erwin. I'm still calling my lawyer; I still want a divorce and nothing you do or say here or at that house is going to change that,” he said warningly. He was practical if nothing else and returning to the house they shared was at the very least practical. He did need to pack his things and it would be best if he didn't have to stay in the dirty hotel room, wasting money on cleaning supplies, room fees and restaurant food.

Erwin only nodded silently and waited out in the hall until Levi had collected the few things he'd brought with him to the hotel. And after leaving the key at the front desk, Levi let his soulmate take him back to the house that was no longer a home if it ever had been.

 

TBC...


	4. Three: Bittersweet Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The papers arrive and Levi leaves Erwin... Finally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I know, it hasn't been that long, but for some reason, this chapter took longer to finish than I had anticipated when I began writing it. And to anyone who's reading my other fic, "Weapon", I'm seriously sorry for the long delay. The next chapter is coming soon, I promise. 
> 
> The next chapter of this fic may or may not be the last. I'm thinking it will be, but if not, there will only be a short one following it and yes, Hanji will _actually_ make an appearance in the next one, I promise.
> 
> Anyways, comments and kudos are entirely welcome. I hope you all like this newest installment.
> 
> Enjoy!

Erwin was exceedingly polite and accommodating once Levi was back in the house they shared, but it didn't change anything just as Levi had said it wouldn't. Even when a week and then two and then three had come to pass. The raven remained stoically silent most of the time and frigid whenever he did have to converse with his soulmate and even then, their conversation turned swiftly into argument. They argued over where Levi would move to; Erwin offered the house and Levi refused. They fought over what Levi would take to his new home; Erwin offered to give him everything; Levi wanted none of it. They battled over stupid things like whether or not Levi would change his name back to what it had been before they'd married; Erwin thought it was senseless and Levi thought it was only natural. They squabbled about how they would break the news to friends and family, over putting Levi's cellphone and other bills in his own name and whether or not they even needed to involve the lawyers; Erwin thought it was all nonsense and Levi was adamant that it fucking mattered to him.

For all intents and purposes, it appeared that Erwin was begrudgingly accepting Levi's decision, though it was clear to the raven that his soon to be ex-husband was trying to win his favour back by giving him space regularly and being particularly accommodating to Levi's needs during the near month that they had been sleeping apart, even if they argued regularly. Levi had moved into the guest room and had begun packing all of his personal belongings, not bothering with any of the other things Erwin offered. 

It was the last week of the month when things changed from manageable to intolerable. It started when Levi received the divorce papers from his lawyer. Erwin had gone in to work and would likely be back soon, so the younger man had simply left the documents on the dining room table, fitting as it was and he'd smiled a hollow, bitter little smirk at the thought before he'd went to take a long bath. He'd mistakenly left his phone on the made bed in the spare room.

When he'd stepped out of the bathroom, Erwin was sitting rigidly on the edge of the bed with Levi's cell in one large hand, grip white-knuckled around the device. He looked up from the glowing contacts screen when Levi came in. The raven's gaze narrowed and he scowled, stilling in the bathroom doorway with his used towel in his hands, glad that he was in the habit of dressing while still in the bathroom.

“Who's Eren Jaeger?” Erwin's voice was dangerously low, suspicion and jealousy evident in the tone and Levi could have kicked himself. He'd meant to delete the number, but had kept making excuses and avoiding actually ridding his phone of the kid's information. It wasn't as if he had actually called the young man he'd last seen almost a month previous, nor had he so much as texted him and Eren had no way of contacting the raven either, not having been given even Levi's last name. It was better that way, as Levi had wanted it; he didn't plan to see the youth again; he just couldn't seem to delete his damn number. It was a comfort to see it in his contacts list when he was trying to get to sleep, alone in his guest bed every night. 

He would not admit, at least out loud, that he missed the kid, missed those exquisite eyes and that honest voice, that supple, golden-toned skin and the sinfully soft chocolate hair. It was an inexplicable yearning deep inside the raven that he desperately tried to assure himself would fade over time. It was only because he felt a kinship with the kid that was in a similar position as his own, maybe not the same, but similar enough to make Levi feel as if they shared some sort of understanding, one he certainly couldn't explain, even to himself.

Levi cocked his head to the side and dropped his towel into the hamper next to the door before he stepped towards the sitting blonde and reached to forcibly retrieve his phone. 

“You have no right to go through my phone Erwin. Did you sign the papers?” he growled angrily, yanking the device from the other man's grip and turning the screen off, pocketing it and glaring at his soulmate, entirely disregarding the older man's question. Erwin's emptied hands curled into fists against his thighs and his jaw twitched, sky blue eyes narrowed as he watched the raven step back away from him as if he couldn't escape fast enough.

“I saw them,” he replied through gritted teeth.

“That's not what I asked. Did. You. Sign. The. God-damned. Papers?”

“No.”

Levi growled and moved to grab the last few articles of clothing from his drawers and threw them in a duffel bag that was sitting on the surface of the cherry wood dresser waiting for just this purpose. “You'll sign them Erwin or I'll see you in court.”

“Can't we just wait a little longer? Can't you just give me another chance? These last few weeks haven't been so terrible, have they?”

Levi scoffed, shaking his head, his back to his soulmate as he continued thrusting clothes into the canvas bag. “No and no. And the only reason these passed few weeks have been even remotely bearable is because I've been patiently waiting for those damn papers to arrive and because _you_ **agreed** to sign them. I told you I wouldn't change my mind Erwin. It's over.”

Erwin jumped to his feet suddenly and the raven didn't even flinch, watching the tall blonde in the mirror above the dresser, “This is all because of him, isn't it!? Because of Eren Jaeger!” The blonde was very close to shouting and Levi rubbed a hand over his face in exasperation before he leaned both palms on the edge of the dresser, inhaling and exhaling several breaths to reign in his own rising temper. 

The mark on his arm ached dully. It had faded considerably in the last few weeks, though the skin around it was still inflamed, sensitive, and raw; Erwin's name appeared to be disappearing painfully and slowly. Levi had noticed the fading just a week ago and suddenly concerned over what exactly was occurring, he'd made that appointment with the quack doctor. He had theories about breaking the soul bond causing the name to fade away, but he would be lying if he said it didn't worry him on some level. What would happen when the name had disappeared entirely? He was afraid to know, assuming the worst as he always did. 

“Because of you! This... All of this is your doing Erwin! Take some God-damned responsibility would you? It's not Eren; it's not me; it's not even Armin's fault for Christ's sake. You did this all on your own. You have literally no one to blame but yourself. I haven't been happy with you, with us in so long, I don't even remember what it feels like Erwin. You betraying me was just the final straw. I'm done. I can't lie to myself anymore. Soulmates or not, _you_ are not my forever.” Levi had turned to face the other man throughout his tirade and was staring at him with a dark bitterness in the snowy depths of his eyes, brows pinched together in hurt.

Erwin swallowed, brow furrowing deeply, looking as if he desperately wanted to reach out for the younger man, “Don't say that...”

Levi huffed and turned back around to finish packing, viciously stuffing the rest of his clothes and personal items into the bulging bag. Erwin watched him with a detached sort of fascination, realizing belatedly exactly what Levi was doing and why. 

“What are you doing?”

“Leaving. Isn't that obvious? You won't sign the papers while I'm here, so maybe you'll sign them when I'm not. I've been exceedingly patient. Staying here in the first place was clearly a mistake. I will collect the rest of my things once I've found a suitable apartment. You have until then to sign or I will pursue legal action Erwin. You can't force me to stay with you. Whether you sign them or not, I'm not yours anymore. You **have** to accept that.” Levi zipped up the canvas bag with more force than was necessary, cursing when it caught before he wrestled it the rest of the way closed, hands quaking with adrenaline. 

“Where are you going to go?” Erwin's voice was quiet, sad and placating and it only made Levi angrier. The older man was trying to make him feel guilty; he'd heard that tone so many times before, he'd lost count. He wasn't having it. 

“It doesn't matter. I'll contact you before I come to get the rest of my things. If you haven't signed by then, the next time you see me will be in court Erwin. Don't make things harder... Just sign them.”

The taller man gritted his teeth, jaw tensing and his fists clenched by his sides, “You're going to be with him aren't you?”

“Not that I owe it to you, but yes, I am, if he'll have me,” Levi said, slinging the bag over one shoulder and turning to the door, not even bothering to look back at the silent blonde as he stood stock still in the middle of the now empty guest room. It was over.

\----*****----

He hadn't really meant to see Eren again, hadn't planned to go to him as he'd told Erwin, but once he was seated in the driver's seat of his expensive midnight blue Stingray, the over stuffed bag haphazardly thrown in the passenger seat on top of his briefcase and laptop bag, his well worn black leather jacket keeping the slight chill out of his skin, he was driving in the direction of Eren's house. He was shaking and his fingers felt numb around the steering wheel and his heart was threatening to explode through his chest. He didn't even consciously make the decision to go in the direction of the young man's simple, comfortable two-story home, but somehow, twenty-five minutes later, he had pulled into the driveway behind the brunette's familiar four-door and not the hotel he had intended.

He sat in his car parked in Eren's driveway for what felt like hours, arguing with himself about actually going to the door. It was dark out, not quite the middle of the night, but close enough to ten o'clock that Levi was trying to convince himself he should leave, that the kid was likely asleep already and really what was he thinking coming to his house like this? What did they even mean to each other? He hadn't seen or spoken to Eren since he'd left him sleeping in his bed almost a month passed. They'd only met twice. The brunette probably wouldn't even want to see him, especially after he'd snuck away like some kind of criminal. 

In the end, the desperate longing to just see those eyes, to hear that voice at least one more time won out against the insecure and self-conscious thoughts and Levi vacated his car, not even bothering to lock the doors, so sure that Eren would slam the door in his face as soon as he'd answered it, if he answered at all at this time of night. 

He banged his knuckles against the wood of the front door with just enough momentum to be heard even if Eren was sleeping, three meticulously spaced raps on the barrier while he stood in nervous anticipation on the front stoop, both inexplicably elated and dreading the opening of the door. His breath caught in his throat, heart beating a thunderous symphony in his chest as the sound of the lock turning and the creak of the old door opening filtered out into the dark. Then, there was Eren in all his chaotic dishevelled beauty, haloed by the dull light streaming from behind him. The reaction Levi received from the young man was far from the one he'd been expecting.

Those oceanic eyes went wide and glassy, clouding over with tears when they settled on the short raven standing awkward and speechless on his front steps. 

“Thank God...” the sentiment escaped Eren's bowed lips in barely more than a whisper before Levi found his arms full, the kid's hands digging almost painfully into his back as he literally threw himself into the older man's arms. Levi's own arms hesitated a moment or two before he gave in and wrapped his arms around Eren in return, squeezing him tighter than he meant to, pressing his nose into the kid's shoulder and inhaling Eren's scent deeply. He hadn't understood how much he'd missed the kid, the near stranger until Eren was in his arms, his presence enveloping Levi and bringing him a sense of peace he'd never quite felt before, even the dull ache of his mark couldn't distract him from the feeling. 

Eren pulled back just enough to look at him, mercury clashed with moonlit ocean and Eren's hands slipped from behind Levi's shoulders to his neck, spreading and framing his jaw reverently. “I thought I'd never see you again...” the brunette trailed off, eyes still swimming with emotion, threatening tears until suddenly the kid seemed to come to some realization and his relieved expression turned to a pouting scowl, “Where the fuck have you been, you jerk?” he asked angrily, giving Levi a little shove to the shoulder with one hand.

Levi felt guilty, more so as Eren did not turn him away then, but instead dragged him inside his house, slamming and locking the door behind them. He tugged Levi along, up the stairs and down the hallway to his bedroom, where the bedside lamp was on and a book lay open on the nightstand, bedding rumpled from where the youth had clearly been resting. He pressed Levi to sit on the edge of the bed and moved as if he was going to leave, stilled when Levi caught his wrist. 

The raven's eyes flickered to where his hand had curled around the tanned flesh and widened when he realized Eren's name was no longer there, the blocky lettering replaced be a lingering red mark, like a burn that was nearly healed. “Wha... Your name?” He questioned, confusion written clear across his features.

Eren looked at him over his shoulder and pulled his hand free from the now slack grip, raising it to assist in unbuttoning his pajama shirt. He turned around when he'd finished, facing Levi with one hand holding the fabric of his top closed. He was biting his lip nervously and Levi couldn't help, but stare at the kid's motions, swallowing against a suddenly dry throat. Eren still hadn't said anything more since they'd left the front entrance and the raven wasn't sure what to make of his unexpected actions. 

“It's gone... I... I have to show you something,” he finally murmured, voice so quiet that Levi leaned forward to hear better. He nodded a little, trying to assure the young man and Eren drew in a deep breath before he let the soft material slip from his grip, off his shoulders and down his arms to pool on the floor around his feet.

Levi breath hitched and his eyes went wide, hand reaching out unconsciously to run over the new marking on the left side of Eren's chest. It looked raw, the characters ragged and scarred as if they'd been carved into the flesh, though they were healed, the skin around the name just irritated; he'd never seen a name that looked like the one now marring Eren's torso. “It's yours now,” the younger man's voice was weak, almost afraid, the timid quality making Levi look up from the brand of his own name on Eren's flesh to meet the boy's eyes instead.

“How?” Levi sounded breathless even in his own ears, blindsided by what was in front of him.

“Doctor Zoe thinks that I convinced whatever higher power that they made a mistake and they corrected it, but I'm not so sure. You still have Erwin's name, don't you?” the brunette said, looking to Levi's covered arm and the raven nodded slowly, shrugging off his jacket to reveal the faded mark and reddened skin of his forearm.

“It's fading. I... Doctor Zoe?” Why did that name sound so familiar?

“Yeah, that doctor you mentioned. Um, after you left last time, my mark faded really fast. It hurt like hell and then I started waking up with new marks on my chest and I got scared, so I looked her up and made an appointment. She said I needed to find you before she could figure anything more out. But you... You just disappeared and I didn't know anything about you. I went to that bar and that stupid grocery store, but you never showed up. When I realized it was your name appearing on my skin, I panicked. I thought I'd finally have the right soulmate, but you were nowhere to be found. I thought... I... Why _are_ you here?”

Levi wanted to touch Eren so badly as he listened to his voice lose volume and taper to broken whispers and he actually fidgeted for several seconds before he couldn't take it and pulled Eren to him, curling an arm possessively around the younger man's waist, spreading his knees to allow Eren to step between them. He pressed his cheek to the warm, smooth expanse of the kid's firm stomach and closed his eyes, exhaling a quiet breath of relief.

“I'm sorry. I didn't know. Eren, I wasn't going to see you again. I thought it would be better that way, that being together would only hurt us. We couldn't last forever. I went back to the house to pack my things and to wait for the divorce papers. It was stupid. Erwin tried to convince me to stay. The papers came in today. He said he would sign them, then he wouldn't and I had to leave. I wasn't... I hadn't planned to even come here. I didn't want to bring my shit on you again. Why would you want me? You're beautiful and I'm just... Once I started driving, I... I don't even understand how I managed to remember how to get here, but somehow I ended up here without realizing it. I wasn't even going to come to the door, but I had to see you just one more time. I didn't know...” his words were muffled and quiet against Eren's skin. He couldn't even wrap his mind around everything. He'd felt drawn, pulled towards Eren by some magnetic force beyond his control and now that he'd seen the mark of his name carved over the young man's heart, it all seemed to make some miraculous sense. He made a sound between a pleased hum and a pleasured groan when he felt Eren's fingers thread through his hair and he knew he was forgiven. For some inexplicable reason, Eren _wanted_ him, desired him so deeply in some profound and amazing way, so desperately that he had changed the designs of the divine. 

He wanted Levi even though they'd only met less than a handful of times, even though Levi was cynical and bitter and so much older, even though Levi was full of rain. Eren wanted _Levi_ to be his forever and the raven knew then, with Eren's fingers curled against his scalp and the warmth of his skin, the scent of him all around him; he knew that Eren's forever meant the same as his.

He turned his head to place a row of butterfly kisses along the soft skin of Eren's belly just over the waistband of the pajama bottoms he still wore and revelled in the fluttering of muscle beneath his lips and the hitched exhale of the youth's breath. He regretted that he still bore the name of another on his skin, but hoped that when it finally faded away that there would be another to replace it. He couldn't understand why Eren's already had and his own was taking so much longer when he had been pining for the pretty brunette boy since the moment they'd met on that shitty night in that questionable little pub where one forever had ended and another had began. He couldn't have known then, but he should have and he should've listened to his instinct when he'd met the boy again and let Eren take him home, should have listened to the feeling of belonging he'd felt then in Eren's bed, but he'd been scared and so sure he was not good enough for the boy that was all sunshine and rushing ocean currents.

A breathy chuckle escaped pale lips, tickling against Eren's skin and stirring the fine hairs that trailed down from the younger man's navel to disappear beneath the waistline of his trousers. Fate hadn't forsaken them; it was ludicrous, entirely unexpected and unheard of and absolutely wondrous.

Eren's fingers tightened in his hair and Levi looked up, chin pressing against the brunette's stomach, silver eyes cast upwards through a dark fringe of thick lashes to catch those endless depths of emerald seas and Eren was smiling. Then he was straddling the raven's lap, maneuvering his pajama-clad thighs to either side of Levi's hips, the waist sagging ever lower to reveal the subtle protrusion of enticing hipbones that Levi's hands gravitated to of seemingly their own accord. The soft pads of his thumbs rubbed over the curve of bone appreciatively and he didn't break Eren's gaze until the kid's hands were spread on either side of his face, fingers threading into his hair and thumbs smoothing along his temples, bowing forward to pull Levi into a lingering kiss.

He didn't remember when or how Eren lost his pants or he his own, when he'd laid the beautiful brunette back into his sheets and kissed his lips until they were both left breathless. He didn't know how long they just touched one another, how many minutes or hours he spent tenderly preparing Eren, but it was enough that they were both sweating, panting, and desperate, Eren's body soft and greedy to accept him when he finally slid inside him. They swallowed their moans, drinking each others' breath as they rocked against one another, fingers digging into flesh, leaving marks that would fade unlike the one on Eren's chest and Levi lost himself, surrounded and blinded, drowning in sunlit ocean tides, but he wasn't afraid anymore. The light that was inside Eren would never burn him.

TBC...


	5. End: I'm What You're Feeling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my God! Okay, I know I know... It's been a billion years in the making at this point, but here is the final installment of this fic. I had it half written for the last several months, but couldn't make up my mind on the ending. For some reason today was the day if came out and it is nothing like I had originally planned though the underlying theme and concepts are the same... Anyways, I hope it doesn't disappoint. 
> 
> Inspo Song: [Close by Nick Jonas ft. Tove Lo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgJFqVvb2Ws)
> 
>  And oodles of gratitude for the lovely Teapot for giving it a once over for me. You're a doll <3 
> 
> Enjoy!

Levi had been staying with Eren a little over a week, a week in which they'd fallen into an entirely comfortable and inexplicably easy routine as if Levi had never had another soulmate. Levi drove Eren to art school almost daily before he went into his own office. They made love and slept curled together in the bed that felt like not just Eren's, but Levi's as well. They fell into each others' lives and fit as if they'd always been living that way, as if it was only natural and Levi's mark faded further, barely legible anymore, but still **there.** And Levi grew to hate it. He wanted it to disappear; he wanted a matching mark on his chest where Eren's belonged. Why was it taking so long? Didn't the higher powers believe he loved Eren? He _did_ love Eren, didn't he? Wasn't it enough? Weren't they convinced?

He hoped Doctor Zoe would be able to help.

They were currently in the waiting room of her office that was otherwise empty except for the male receptionist behind the desk. Eren was fidgeting, unable to keep still for more than a few seconds at a time, his hand rubbing over his chest where Levi knew his name to be and bouncing his legs alternately.

“Would you sit the fuck still brat? You're making _me_ nervous,” and Levi _was_ nervous. What if she said he wouldn't ever receive Eren's name? What if she said he would be nameless after Erwin's finally disappeared? What if he wasn't meant to be with Eren? What if she couldn't help them?

He couldn't be alone; he just couldn't... He'd drown in the rain he held inside him.

“Mister Jaeger, Mister Ackerman, Doctor Zoe will see you now,” the receptionist said with a smile, standing up to open the door for Levi and Eren. Levi swallowed hard as they both stood up, Eren practically jumping from his seat. Levi didn't even realize he'd grabbed the young man's hand in an almost vice-like grip until Eren squeezed it back supportively.

Moblit, the receptionist, led them into another room that was painted brightly and decorated with the oddest abstract artwork Levi had ever seen, and had them sit down to await the doctor, whom he promised would be no more than a minute.

He and Eren sat side by side on the loveseat that sat in front of a cluttered desk, their fingers entwined tightly because for some reason, Levi couldn't let go of the brunette's hand. He jerked when the woman entered the room seconds later, greeting them exuberantly.

“I'm so pleased Eren managed to find you. It's so exciting. This proves my theory correct, you know? You two are the perfect example of soulmate exchange, the only one I've ever come across that is still in transition. It's a scientific breakthrough that's going to rock the foundations of our society. And they all called me crazy, the close-minded bastards,” she said as she sat herself on a corner of the desk, ignoring the things that fell off the other side as she made room for herself on the clutter strewn surface.

Levi let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding in a heavy rush of air from his nose. Wonderful... Just fucking wonderful... She'd never dealt with a case like theirs before.

“Now, if you'd be so kind Levi, please let me take a look at your name. I'd like to get some pictures of it for documentation before it disappears entirely. Eren's told me a bit about the situation, but I'd like to hear a detailed account from you if you wouldn't mind. Of course when I present the information to the board, I'll change your names to protect your identities, if that's what you're worried about... You seem worried,” she spoke quickly and with a tone that was entirely too excited in Levi's opinion; she sounded positively gleeful.

He heaved another heavy sigh and began unbuttoning his jacket, peeling it off before repeating the process with the shirt beneath. “That's not what I'm worried about,” he said as he thrust his now bare arm out for her to examine the fading, seemingly smeared characters and intense inflammation on the otherwise pale skin. She immediately grasped his wrist with one hand, yanking his arm closer to her while she adjusted her glasses with her other hand and peered at his arm with intense interest.

“Amazing! Really... Just extraordinary,” she murmured excitedly more to herself than either of the men before her. Levi snorted, giving another involuntary start when she was suddenly shouting, “Moblit, bring the camera and come see this. It's astounding!” Eren gave Levi's other hand a squeeze of assurance and the raven haired man looked over at him, unable to return the gentle smile Eren was giving him, but feeling comforted by it. That little smile made him believe everything would be alright.

The receptionist entered the room, holding a digital camera in his hands, already prepared to take photos of Levi's arm, his eyes widening in almost shock that turned just as quickly to interest that could perhaps rival the woman's as he laid his gaze on the marking that was obviously disappearing slowly, but surely. He raised the camera to begin documenting and Levi leaned away, pressing himself closer to Eren to avoid having his photo taken; they didn't need his face in the pictures.

Doctor Zoe was still looking at his arm, holding it still while Moblit took snapshots of it from every possible angle and she spoke without looking away from Erwin's disfigured name, “What _are_ you worried about then?”

Levi looked at her and back at Eren, sucking his bottom lip between his teeth. He didn't want to voice his insecurities in front of the young man. Hange's eyes flickered up to meet his briefly, narrowing as if she knew what his hesitation was all about and he cleared his throat. He looked away from her and Eren, staring at the floor beyond Moblit. “What if... What will happen if I don't get a new name like Eren did? What if his name doesn't show up?” he asked quietly, almost inaudible and barely slipping passed pale lips.

The doctor leaned back, her grip still tight on his wrist whilst her other hand rubbed at her chin thoughtfully. “I think it will. Perhaps you are holding yourself back. Are you apprehensive about having a new soulmate? Eren said that things were very strained with your first one,” she replied, her bespectacled stare back on his face. He could feel her eyes though he refused to meet her gaze.

“Maybe... I... What if this is a mistake too? What if I'm not actually what Eren wants? Will this happen again?” Now Eren was looking at him and he was squeezing his hand so tightly. He hadn't wanted to voice these concerns to the other male, hadn't wanted to see the hurt that would surely rise in those vibrantly beautiful eyes.

Hange hummed, sitting back further on her desk and finally loosening her grip on his arm, allowing feeling back into his hand as his circulation returned. “Do you feel unequal? Eren had mentioned on the phone that your previous soulmate had an affair. Do you feel inadequate? That could be why you are stopping yourself from entirely letting go of your previous name and gaining Eren's. Eren's faded and was replaced so quickly because he was so adamant in the belief that you and he were meant to be. He's certain that you were meant to be his _one._ Do you not feel the same?”

“No!... No, I... I want him to be. Just what if I turn out to disappoint him and he leaves me?”

“That's never going to happen Levi,” Eren cut in before the doctor had a chance to speak again. His unoccupied hand came up to cup Levi's jaw and force him to meet his eyes, honesty and genuine adoration swirling in the honey depths.

“How can you be so certain? I'm not... I'm nothing special. I'm moody and OCD. I'm terrible at expressing myself and I always say the wrong thing. I'm horrible at remembering important dates and worse at celebrating them. I hardly smile and I'm so much older than you. And I don't want you to be my wife or treat you like you are anything less. I don't want to treat you as I was treated, but I don't know how to... I want us to be equal, but I think you deserve so much more than I could possibly offer you.”

“Levi,” Eren said so softly, his eyes swimming with tears that didn’t fall, but threatened to with every hitched breath he took, “You say equal, but you hide from me… You act like you’re alright, but you’re not and you don’t cry like you should. I can’t keep crying your tears for you without knowing why. I don’t mind crying them for you if you can’t, but you gotta at least let me in. I know you like to believe you’re not, but you’re scared.”

Levi tried to look away from those searching murky ocean eyes, but Eren wouldn’t let him. He was trapped. He wanted to shake his head, to scoff and deny it, but looking into the honest depths and hearing the desperate sincerity in the younger man’s words, he could do nothing. He swallowed hard against a throat that felt as if it was filled with cotton and he had no words. Any that came to mind would be lies. He was alright, but he _wasn’t._ He wasn’t scared, but he _was._

“I want your everything. The good, the bad, **everything** Levi.”

Levi swallowed again and shifted uncomfortably, knowing he had to say something, that he had to return Eren’s honesty with his own because he had to let go and bare himself to the other male fully. He had to be vulnerable and fragile and believe that Eren wouldn’t be disappointed with what he found inside him. “Okay,” he managed to murmur hoarsely. Eren’s smile split his face and his eyes shimmered as he pulled Levi in against him to embrace him tightly and press kisses over his face, full of affection, genuine and sincere and trusting. It was all there; Eren believed this was meant to be. He wanted all facets of Levi and Levi… Levi wanted to belong to him.

Hange made a sound that was a cross between an excited squeal and an endeared coo and Levi pulled away from Eren reluctantly. He scowled at the beaming woman. “Are we done here?” he questioned grumpily. The woman shook her head.

“Not quite, I have some more questions for you…”

***

It might have been hours that Levi sat on the edge of their bed after having left Hange’s office and driving Eren to his afternoon classes; he didn’t know. It didn’t matter. He was lost in his own head, dredging up all the awful things, all those little secrets that hid in the corners of his mind where he could pretend they were lost and he’d never have to find them, but he had to. He had to remember, had to painstakingly tear open each old scar, each neglected wound that had made him into who he was, each desperate wretched experience that had fundamentally filled him with rain and kept him from ever really living in the sun and it _hurt_. There were things there he had never even shared with Erwin; he’d never needed to because he had been convinced it was fine between them because their skin had been branded with one another’s names and he’d never had to explain. 

He should have and he should have wanted Erwin’s vulnerabilities too, but he hadn’t shared and he hadn’t wanted to know. He had been willing to stay with a man he probably had never really known and whom had never cared to know him because a mark had dictated it was the right thing to do. It hadn’t been; he’d just been too much of a coward to question it. And he had to be brave now. He had to be brave for Eren and for himself. 

Eren had taken that leap, had immediately rejected destiny and decided to make his own instead and so he had. He had been willing to be vulnerable, to fight Fate for his forever and for Levi’s and Levi knew he had to do the same. He couldn’t keep letting Eren cry his tears for him. He needed to cry them for himself and he needed to let Eren be the one to hold him through it, to wipe them away and assure him the sun would still shine through the rain.

It was already getting dark when Eren arrived home to find Levi still as he had been, staring blankly at the lavender tendrils of twilight as they spread across the sky and the first stars peeked out from between deep slate clouds that promised more autumn rain. The elder man was perched on the edge of the bed, silent and staring, face a tranquil stillness that should be worrisome, but Eren knew better. He could see the rain behind Levi’s eyes when he stepped over to meet the squalling silver-blue depths and he knew that though the clouds outside hadn’t yet ruptured, inside the man’s head, it was already pouring. Levi blinked when the taller brunette’s hand cupped one pale cheek, the warmth of Eren’s palm and soft fingertips pulling him from his recollective stupor and drawing him back to him, back to where he belonged. 

Gazing into the endless golden green that was filled with nothing, but understanding, bright and undemanding, soothing in its patience and acceptance, Levi realized that whatever he said, Eren already knew there was rain inside him and had still wanted him, would still want him no matter what he told him. No matter how vulnerable he left himself, no matter how he voiced his fear, his pains, past and present, Eren had no intention of letting him drown; he had no intention of leaving Levi alone. Forever may be relative, but his and Eren’s was the same. 

With the realization sinking into the furthest depths of himself, Levi was warmed from the inside out, like maybe the rain was letting up just a little. And he began to talk, all those deep seeded secrets, agonies, memories, feelings and faults came flooding out in a torrent of whispers, soft words that became choked, breathed, sobbed, hitched and broken spilling forth as surely as the rain that broke from the clouds outside their windows like the first time they’d touched.

Eren knelt before him, touched his face, stroked those gentle fingers through his hair, said nothing, but listened and those beautiful, captivating, honest ocean eyes didn’t waver even once. And Eren drew him in against his chest, let Levi bury his face against his neck and hold him too tight in return as Levi finally cried for himself, for all his losses and his hurts. It was cathartic and had been so long in coming, held so tightly in the recesses of his heart for so many years that he couldn’t stop until his silent sobs ran his throat ragged and he ran out of tears to weep. Through all of it, Eren held him and was silent, but when he’d finished, the younger male removed the barriers between them and pulled him into their bed, pressed Levi’s head to rest over the brand of his own name over Eren’s heart that beat steady and sure beneath the mark, assured and assuring.

Levi rested against him, closed his eyes, breathed and listened to the thrumming rhythm, realized belatedly that his own was paced to match, meant to be. Eren’s heart could lead because Levi’s would always follow; the rain was always chasing the sun. And when they met, prismed colour exploded in brilliant iridescent shards that could only be achieved when the water finally caught the light. God or Fate, divine design or coincidence, Levi didn’t care to know anymore so long as he would never be colourblind again. 

There was silence for a long time as they laid together, no words necessary between the beats of their hearts and with eyes closed, it was comfortable and content, peaceful and perfect. It was only as sleep was creeping in on silent feet that Eren finally broke that quiet with the only words that mattered, “I love you Levi. Forever.”

Levi could only smile against the scarred mark on his soulmate’s chest and sigh, “Forever is a long time, but not long enough for me to have enough words to express what you mean to me Eren.”

“You don’t need words Levi, I already know.” Of course Eren knew… They were a destined pair even if they had to fight for it.

***

Levi heaved a heavy breath as he pulled into Erwin’s driveway and looked to his mate when Eren set his hand on his bare, unmarred forearm in support. He found himself returning the supportive smile on the young man’s face with a small appreciative one of his own. Eren leaned in to plant a warm kiss against his cheek before he pulled away and the both of them stepped out of Levi’s sleek car.

Eren leaned against the passenger door and looked up at the cloudy sky overhead while Levi made his way to the tall blonde waiting for him on the front porch. 

Erwin’s lips pursed and his thick brows pinched together as he looked over the young man that had come with Levi. He’d never have expected Levi to choose someone like the carelessly attractive brunette. He looked young and naive, but there was something in his eyes that denied the appearance of either and Erwin knew why he’d lost to the boy.

“Is that him?” the blonde asked, tone quiet, a tad hurt, but not coloured by the possessive anger of previous. Levi looked at him and back to Eren, a soft fond curl to his mouth as his silvery eyes trailed over the young man leaning laxly against his car with his face upturned as if begging for the threatening rain to fall on his skin. 

“Yeah, he’s the one,” Levi replied, still looking at Eren while Erwin’s gaze shifted back to his now ex-husband and once soulmate. He swallowed hard against the lump in his throat as he looked over the shorter man. Levi looked _different_ , unlike he’d ever seen him before and Erwin realized painfully that Levi was at peace, something he’d never been when they’d been together, happy and soft in a way Erwin had never been capable of inciting in him. 

The papers rustled as he pulled them from beneath his tucked arm and held them out to the younger man, noticing the pale expanse of Levi’s arm that was clear of his name as if it had never been there at all as the raven accepted the documents, “Your name…”

“Nn, I have a new one now. Maybe you’ll find yours too once you let me go. You never needed me anyways,” Levi responded, his unoccupied hand rubbing over his heart unconsciously as his gaze flickered to Erwin a moment before scanning over the pages to be sure all the proper spaces had been signed and he gave one satisfied nod once he was certain. He stepped away from the broad blonde, glancing back over his shoulder briefly and giving Erwin one last soft, pitying smile as he bid him farewell, “Goodbye Erwin.”

***

“What would you like to do for the rest of the afternoon love?” Levi asked, the hand not on the steering wheel seeking and embracing Eren’s blindly on the seat between them.

“Let’s go to the beach,” Eren answered, watching his soulmate while he drove, gold-crested green eyes lit with fond adoration. 

“You sure? It looks like it’s going to rain,” smoky mercury depths that were warm despite their cool colouring flickered to the brunette in time to catch a pleasant curl form on bowed lips and Levi hummed in appreciation for the expression on Eren’s face. 

“I’m sure. I love the rain.”

End.


End file.
